Stop saying just "hello" on Slack. You're not opening a portal to another dimension. You're sending a message. Use it.
Don’t do this:
👤 You: helloThat’s it? That’s your message? You've summoned me like some office ghost, now I'm expected to stare at the screen waiting for you to grace me with your actual question?
It’s 2025. We have 10-second attention spans and inboxes like war zones. Respect the chaos. Just ask your damn question.
👤 You: hey, you there?Yes. No. Maybe. Who knows? Who cares? You had a window to say what you needed. You used it to roll marbles around in your mouth.
If you need something, say the thing. Don't drop a baited hook and wait to see if I nibble.
👤 You: quick questionNo such thing. You've already lied. If it were quick, you'd have asked it already. Instead, you’ve created a suspense thriller where I get to guess whether I’ll be helping you rename a file or architecting a cloud-native future.
Again: just ask the question. Be bold. Be brief. Be gone.
👤 You: hey
👤 You: quick thing
👤 You: you around?
👤 You: ping
👤 You: ???
👤 You: 👀
👤 You: ok I guess you're busy...
Ah yes, the digital equivalent of furiously ringing a service bell and yelling “HELLO?!” into the void.
Slack is not a slot machine. Spamming me with seven micro-messages in ten seconds doesn’t win you faster support—it wins you my undying resentment and a lifetime ban from polite society.
If you send five messages and say nothing of substance, you’ve effectively created a fire drill for a message that never arrived. I’ve dropped what I was doing, only to discover that you were just doing the typing equivalent of throat-clearing.
Please. Collect your thoughts. Send one message. Breathe through your nose like a civilized creature.
👤 You: @alex hey
👤 You: @alex can I ask something real quick?
👤 You: @alex just checking if you saw my message above 👆
Tagging me in a DM? Really? We’re already in a one-on-one conversation. Who else did you think was going to see this? The Slack gods?
If I haven’t responded yet, it’s not because I forgot who I am or wandered off into the sea—it’s because I’m doing something else, like working or practicing deep breathing after your last five-message barrage.
Tagging someone in a DM is the equivalent of tapping a stranger’s shoulder every ten seconds and whispering their name while they’re trying to pee. Just… don’t.
Save the tag for public channels where someone might genuinely miss your message—not for privately poking people with a pointy digital stick.
A conversation is this wild concept where you talk, then I talk. And if I’m talking, you stop. That’s it. That’s the whole dance.
But for some reason, we’ve all accepted this bizarre workplace improv game where I start to say something and you immediately interrupt with:
Please understand: I don’t need help finishing my sentences. If you wait a breath—just one polite, human breath—you might find I was going to say something relevant, helpful, or yes, even generous to your point.
But no. You decided we’re playing Conversational Hunger Games and you have to stab first or perish.
Try this revolutionary technique next time: Listen. Then when I stop talking—like actually stop—then you go. Boom. Magic.
If you're messaging someone, pretend you're writing an email where the subject line is the only thing they'll read. Get to the point:
👤 You: Hey, can I ask you something about the deployment script?👤 You: Morning! Is now a good time for a quick chat about Project X timelines?👤 You: I’m stuck with the DB migration. Can you help?See how fast that was? No suspense. No passive-aggressive fishing. Just clear communication like an adult who’s eaten solid food before.